Check All The Shit

My name is Matthew. I like many things of the television persuasion. Feel free to ask me anything you please. Now, move this shit around. Do it, just click and drag it all!

unsexual:

in italian everything sounds like you can eat it when you say cassonetto stupro u might think its a special pasta but in fact it means dumpster rape 

(via fuckyeahloldemort)

(Source: the-narddog, via danascully-md)

[Flash 10 is required to watch video]
teacher: now everybody get into groups
me: nope
me: *flips table*
me: *flies into the sun*

hanging-teeth:

who knows, maybe face tastes delicious and we’re all missing out

(via jessi-dot-gov)

itsexclusive:

imapervert:

Out of everyone on this list, I think Ariel from The Little Mermaid had the best pussy. She was a virgin and she was THIRSTY as fuck for ole boy. She sold out her entire species to grow legs to give him some of that mussy (Mermaid pussy). Once you do something like that, there’s no limit to what you’ll do to please your man, she was tossing salad and everything. 

Pocahontas had already been ran up in by that dude she was supposed to marry, so John Smith was getting leftovers. Plus, she walked around barefoot, the soles of her feet were probably on some struggle shit. No bueno. I didn’t see her in not one pair of moccasins in the whole cartoon. She didn’t even need a flint to start fires, just rub them feet together over a tinder bundle and the blaze was on and popping.

The bitch from beauty in the beast probably has the most hollowed out cavernous pussy in Disney history. Even after he turned to human form I bet his loins were on some mandingo shit. 

Princess Jasmine was a spoiled frigid bitch. The very definition of a pillow princess. The type of broad who licks the head of your dick three times and thinks her job is done. The type of broad who don’t ride dick cause it makes her legs hurt. The type of broad that always make you wear a condom cause she don’t like the sensation of cum running down her asscrack. Her only plus is she got that good Indian hair. 

(Source: thedisneyprincess, via jessi-dot-gov)

loki-ki-ki-ki:

askchangelgrace:

catplanetcatplanetcatplanet:

steve don’t just accept that bullshit

that must have been some fucking witchcraft blue pulled to get that up there

That look on his face

“Fuck, whatever. My fucking salt talks to me. This is actually normal for me.”

(via imgTumble)

travthinks:

i love you even more now.

(Source: lipgallagher, via simple-me)

thecellofellow:

whattarunner:

gosh yes.

I hate the internet. Use a real encyclopedia. 

I hate cars. Use a real cart and buggy.